Am I an Ambedkarite, (Left?), Christian, progressive feminist?

Am I an Ambedkarite, (Left?), Christian, progressive feminist?

It calls to me,
For reasons good and PC;
It calls to me,
For columns of deconstructing –
The right and left;
It calls to me,
Because Ambedkar saw beyond caste,
Because Phule fought harder still,
And Jesus was a sacrifice himself,
Because they offer a fortress.
But I cannot go,
Though I can fight along with you,
But I cannot go,
I’m beyond your male solidarity yet.
My enemy is bigger;
When I am still ‘tribal’;
When Ambedkar compares in disgust –
The Brahmin to a tribal.
Because the enemy has been shooting and killing
With guns of the state
An no one has heard enough yet.
Because you still feel the need –
To teach me and me to learn –
The male language of politics
I’ve only learned so far-
The competition of oppression.
Go sister and brother go –
I’ll stand by you;
But I’m still ‘tribal’ yet
Taking some time to find out
What labels I can slap on me;
While I grow weary of our lessons;
On who is more oppressed;
And as a woman listen to you tell me;
Who my leaders should be.
So I am taking my time to find out
If there are labels I can slap on me.

 

“Chinky kitna?”

I feared and angered
In my younger years,
When men asked me at the bus stop,
“Chinky kitna?”
Until the numbers
Tired me.
And my own violence
Violated my sisters on the streets.
So now i respond –
“Sau lakh” (or more).
Because the violence tires me.
As much as the violent demands
Of purity
Tires me back home.
For I can never be –
A good Indian girl,
My body does not belong;
In the Indian set.
(I don’t complain).
And I can never be –
A good Khasi girl,
To live a full human.
So now I laugh and ask tell you all –
I’m too expensive for “good”.

 

 

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Maranatha Wahlang Written by:

Member, Hyderabad for Feminism, PhD Student, Centre for Neural and Cognitive Sciences, University of Hyderabad.

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